Posts in hopelessness
Grief - Lament - Han by Minjoo Bayers (Kim)

“Han is a sense of unresolved resentment against injustice suffered, a sense of helplessness because of the overwhelming odds against, a feeling of acute pain of sorrow in one’s guts and bowels making the whole body write and wriggle, and an obstinate urge to take “revenge” and to right the wrong all these combined.”

Young-Hak Hyun, Korean Theologian
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WAVES OF GRIEF

I’ve not had a good relationship with grief. My wise friend, Gloria Huh (on #thearisepodcast this week) shared with me that regardless of my awareness, I’ve been building a relationship with grief. Well, she’s right. My relationship with grief is not open or welcoming. It’s stiff, resistant, and at times, hostile.

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Not the Way Some See It

dedicated to the essential workers who didn’t ask to be front-liners without the care they need.

how do essential mental health workers make space in our privilege for those who need the physical connection? These are curiosities, doubts, feelings, spaces I am battling and thinking through.

(majority vs. the other)

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The Eternity of Holy Saturday – An Apocalyptic Easter

I am celebrating the resurrection of a brown Jesus who ate with wine-drinkers and tax collectors, elevated women to power, healed the untouchables, called religious leaders to pass through the eye of a needle, and gave a murderer deathbed forgiveness and entrance into Heaven.

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A Pandemic Mystery (a short story, part 1)

I used to think I survived by magic and miracles the great shame of my 30’s, testing new waters at age 40. Sure, as the days become sunny in the spring, I was sure it was over. Well, I was wrong. Some say you can outlast your deep pain, but I’m writing you now so you know you need to deal with it if you can. Just do it. I cast my dye with a brown soul. I love him. And, you were born. Thank God, for you.

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The Ring of Fire

I cannot carry the THE VIRUS, but I can help shoulder the burdens of my loved ones with the manna for today. I can sing. I can text. I can offer a kind word. I can ask for help. And in this process, we will find a way through the isolation and mess toward hope and love.

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Women at War.

We are watching for the welfare of the elderly, the vulnerable, our neighbors, our enemies, the homeless, the marginalized, the undocumented, the ones with no voice, to say, we see, we will feed you, we will shout from the rooftops to protect you.

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The Lilacs Will Still Bloom

It feels emotional to think of them freshening up the vacant spaces of our yard, the home full with all four children this Spring. The Coronavirus has played into my mind, when I let it. An essay on a flower may seem superfluous, not the justice writing I normally do, but it’s a window into the complexity of what aspects of creation are markers for hope.

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Holy Ground by Becky Allender

Holy ground, where are you now?

The place Jesus stood before the High Priest…

Do you still remember?

Where are you, dirt, which the soldier stood upon and leaped to strike his face when he refused to answer Caiaphas?

What did you feel?

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El Coronavirus, Ansiedad, Aislación, y Trauma

El Coronavirus, Ansiedad, Aislación, y Trauma

El virus ahora, ha integrado en nuestras vidas, nuestras conversaciones, y está viviendo en nuestros pensamientos. Tal vez tienes o no tienes los síntomas físicos que califican en el mundo de los médicos para un diagnosis que tienes el coronavirus, de todos modos, estas infectado.

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The Coronavirus, Anxiety, Isolation, and Trauma

The Coronavirus has by now, integrated its way into our daily lives, our conversations, and is residing in our second by second thoughts. Whether or not you are exhibiting the physical symptoms that would medically qualify for a diagnosis as sick with the Novel Coronavirus, you are infected.

We have always been infected.

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The Road to Recovery

Spaces of dissonance with the life I was coerced into living broke apart. My body screamed, “STOP!”

Friends rushed in. Perhaps they held goodwill in their hearts. Perhaps not. What is clear is that my mind and body were craving validation, and the freedom to express the truth.

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Way-Finding: The Journey through Narrative-Focused Trauma Care training

The future is unknown, my plans follow a trail map. It goes off the grid. I haven’t traveled this terrain before, so I’ll be trusting my gut, relying on the witness of others, and orienting myself to Jesus. You’ll find me “way-finding.”

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Does the Church ask for Consent, or is Faith linked to Coercion?

Despite the increased conversation around consent in recent years, pockets of conservative faiths that decry the term still remain.  

In addition, the lasting effects of a lack of autonomy still reverberate through the bodies of those raised in environments that never taught consent, mine included.   With such heartbreaking prevalence of this harm, it is imperative that we continue to build a culture within our churches that embodies the immense value of consent.

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My Body is a Sacrifice: Surrender & Re-enactment

I watch her daily, the way her body is continually stretched and worn by the task of growing a new life.  Over and over and over again. 

“It’s important to surrender our bodies to the Lord,” she says, “If Jesus is not Lord of all, then he’s not Lord of anything.” This logic makes sense to my young mind, and I worry about the ways I’m not surrendering. Does my fear of what the Lord may ask of my body mean there’s something wrong with me?

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